Hi. After I read the walking dead post & other posts on this site I asked the sites author questions related to this topic. This was only a few months ago & even then I couldn't fathom that Jesus & God's word would be enough support. Raised a Catholic & being a member of AA since I was 18 & then both in al-anon & AA since I was 24 (I'm 41 now) I had a belief in God & thought that was enough. It was only almost a year ago when Jesus seemed to come into my heart yet I still didn't fully trust him to give me the peace & joy of His promise.
Slowly I started going to fewer meetings in spite of the many years of warning about how going to less meetings equals more insanity/likelihood of drinking (which is funny because it was at 6 years sober of diligent step work & 4-5 meetings per week that I found myself addicted to Percocet & had to change my clean date) Anyway my spouse & I started researching AA's origins. What we found was shocking & confirmed what many devout Christians are saying about 12 step programs...that they are not of God...and not of good either.
It's commonly believed that AA started off as Christian but this is fallacy #1. The Oxford originators where only christian in name (notice the small c) and were really new agers. In fact all one has to do is look up the names of folks mentioned in the "big book" and see all roads lead to new age, eugenics, cults, and other satanic influences. Look up Herbert Spencer, a Darwinist (infact his "contempt" quote was to get Creationists to believe in evolution). Look up Harry Fosdick who believed God was a barbarian. Look up the book the Oxford founder Buchman who loved Hitler & influenced AJ Russell who published the book God Calling & then see how the book for AA's 24 Hours a Day has meditations based on God Calling. Look up Sister Francis & her farm where the early AA's spent much time & how she sent new age media all over the world. Oh and don't even get me started on the Rockefellers.
Even non-Christians should see the real ties 12 steps have to so many supposed unaffiliations. Why is the AA Grapevine housed in Hollywood? Why is Al-anon headquarters in Virginia Beach? Once you investigate...you won't be the same.
Anyway I finally gave myself over fully to Jesus...not AA. And I am amazed! Jesus is truly the "easier" way. When I repent to Him I'm set free in a way amends to others never did. When I read The Bible I have more comfort than sharing at meetings. I don't even know anymore if alcoholic is a term I need to embrace anymore because I'm a sinner and booze was definitely one way I sinned. But for years in AA I continued to sin in so many truly dangerous ways. I almost lost my life & family. Now I pray for this wonderful family The Lord has given me, and in Jesus we are happier, handle problems better, and have less shame. We are sinners AND we are forgiven!
So I say amen to this site & it's author. It was Chad's emails that helped me see that with Jesus at the wheel I can find friends who I can share this faith, I can be cleansed of my horrible past, and best of all, I don't have to stay somewhere out of fear.
It's a very big leap for some of us to trust in Jesus Christ. And I feel it can take time, as it did for me. But every day I pray for those who are lost in the snares of booze/drugs and those who are also lost in the snares of supposed recovery. I say this prayer as I know others prayed & I finally am saved.
A young man named Taylor Gaffney testifies to the transforming power of the love of Jesus Christ. Thank you Taylor for allowing us to share your writing.
My testimony varies greatly from yours, but would probably have many similarities. Briefly: Parents divorced when I was 8 or 9. Got very rebellious and had a lot of anger. Around 11, began stealing liquor and smoking marijuana. By 13-14, this led to prescription pills. I was sent to military school at 14, got out, got worse, then off to rehab.
Spent all of my teenage years in and out of rehabs, hallways houses, detox, programs, etc. Dropped out of school. Around 18, I took too much of those things and overdosed, alcohol poisoning from a blood alcohol level of .4, several Xanax bars and a lot of marijuana. I could hardly breathe and could not respond. My friends took me for dead and left me on my doorstep. My parents drove me to the hospital just in time. After several hours, I sort of responded, but became very physically aggressive and violent with doctors, nurses and family. When they sent 2 LEO's to assess me and bring me to county, I assaulted a cop.... It was bad. They objected me with something to put me down, and the mixture of it and the drugs/alcohol put me in a 3 or 4 day coma. I woke up at home and my parents told me the story while in tears. I didn't believe them and had them tell me a second time, to realize they were serious. I remembered nothing, at all.
I sent myself to rehab, because I was worried of going to prison. Stayed sober in AA for a year+ and moved in with a Christian buddy. Relapsed worse than ever. Lasted 3 months or less. The last night I did drugs and drank like that was June 8, 2013. The weed wouldn't work. The alcohol wouldn't work. The pills wouldn't work. I felt nothing, no relief, no difference, just empty. And, it was at that moment (that I believe, though God's timing is different than what we may expect) that the Holy Spirit regenerated me and caused me to be born again. I cried out, and was initially angry, but more in a wanting to die way. I told God that I didn't want to live anymore if all I was just going to be a slave to drugs, dead, in prison or miserable and sober. I said what do you want from me?! And, it is hard to explain... But, inside, it is as if Jesus revealed Himself. It's as if I didn't have to ask who He was, I just knew (evidence of Spirit's work). And, I repented of my entire life being thrown away in sin, and I asked Jesus to please take control of my life. I said, "Lord, I don't know what to do. But, I know that I need you. Please take control of my life and teach me to live for you. I am so sorry!!!!" He changed me radically! And, everything up until now, would take too long to write. Would need to write a book."
Taylor Gaffney on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009360802024
All of the articles here can be accessed by category on the Articles and Breaking Through Recovery Pages.